he really does make a mama proud.
seriously? who is this punk?
what 9 week old sticks out their tongue and flips you the bird?
my child apparently.
upsidedownside
so I'm reading a book.
and I love it.
I won't say it's rare...but it is a celebration. See, I'm kind of a book snob. Not in like a "I only read LITERATURE" nose in the air way. Not like "I only read fiction published before 1950" - that was my old boyfriend. I'm not sure exactly what his reason was. I'm going to go with he was a total dick. But I digress... Yes, bit of a book snob. Like- I can't stand super popular fiction. (ouch, that does sound nose in the air...sorry) What I mean to say is- Nicolas Sparks and Jodi Picoult (sorry Kirsten) make we want to scream. I want to break into their homes and tie them up so they can watch me destroy every writing implement in their possession.
The exception to the "I hate super popular fiction" rule is: I effing LOVE Time Traveler's Wife. true.
Anyway- I am reading "Dark Places"- the long awaited gift to me by Gillian Flynn who wrote "Sharp Objects" ...ok, maybe she didn't INTEND it to be a gift to me, but I am receiving it as such.
Trouble is- I just realized I am at a very "Upside/Downside" part in this book, that one gets to in anygood book really...
I'm about 3/4 way through...
Upside: I am loving it. I love how she writes. I love how she tells a story. I love how she rewards you for being a smart reader and paying attention. I care about these people. In this book- I don't really LOVE any of the characters, no one is like a really fabulous good person you'd want to hang out with, but I care about them. I'm kind of worried about them. Concerned. I think about them when I'm not reading the book. Like "I wonder how Libby is getting on...?" And I know I'll think about them even after the book is done. I'm past halfway and there are times when I'm reading at night and both Ben and Keaton are curled up on either side of me and I'm cozy and devouring this book and it's getting better and better and I just want to read til the end and how many more pages would that be...94? ok...maybe that's too many for tonight since the little one to my left will be up and hungry in like 2 hours...better set it down for now...
Downside: Only 94 pages left? Why doesn't this story go on for infinity pages? I really like reading her words. Reading about these people... I'm going to have to wait like 2 more years for another book by this chick... I should really savor these last 94 pages... BUT DAMN I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!
it's not an especially bad place to be. this book limbo. but I do feel torn.
and, because- what is a blog entry without a pic of Buster these days...
please gaze upon the littlest book lover in our house:
Happy Father's Day
to my Benj.
it's been so amazing to see him become a daddy.
I can't wait to watch more.
see he and babe grow together.
see him teach Keaton how to take this apart and put that back together.
see them laugh and play and make stuff.
sigh.
so love.
so Happy Father's Day to my Ben. And the sweet boy that made him a daddy.
and also to my dad. and his dad.
and- just cuz it's cool I will share-
growing up it was always kind of a big family deal that my grandpa - dad - and I were 30 years apart/each. Like my grandpa was 60 and my dad was 30 when I was born. Growing up my dad always said I had to have my first babe when I was 30 (my dad and I are both oldests) And growing up, I thought- please- that old? whatever. But here we are. In the photo we are: 90, 60, 30 (in one month) and 0. So I did it. Kept it going. Now it's up to Keaton in another 30.
whatever works
I find myself saying this a lot lately.
in re: to the boy.
most recently as I ate a bowl of pasta in bed while sitting next to napping Keaton...the only way I can be SURE he MIGHT sleep longer than 20 minutes is if I am either holding him or laying next to him. Though sometimes he will snooze a while if I leave the tank top I slept in the night before right by his face.
See?
whatever works.
why am I bothering to blog this?
because I am releasing myself from any guilt on this.
I am going to stop comparing us to other people with babies and schedules and smooth sailing.
babies who nap more consistently than three hours one morning and then only 20 min/day for the next three days.
babies who can eat with ease til they're full and then go for a good three to four hours.
babies who can poop with just a hint of a "poop face" rather than screaming like their insides have turned against them and OH MY GOD MAMA WHY WON'T YOU FIX ME??
sigh.
and I thought maybe there might be someone else reading this who is in the same boat.
someone else who cranks up the hip hop til the windows nearly shake cuz somehow that soothes their baby.
someone else who has eliminated 17 random foods from their diet in the hopes that this food- FINALLY THIS FOOD is the answer and maybe baby will have a happy tummy now.
someone else who gives the mylicon another shot cuz hey- it can't hurt, right...and wasn't he sitting calmly for like 10 minutes after that last time we gave it to him... maybe?
yup.
whatever works.
cuz I just want him to be happy.
cuz I know he can be.
I've seen it.
and it melts my heart.
BahBah, Nehng Nehng and Herbert
confused?
here we go:
first: Bahbah
my little love Tyler had a lovey that was part blankie, part lamb. He called it BahBah. As in the noise a lamb makes...follow me so far? Anyway- he also had a bunny one, and somehow the lamb BahBah fell to the wayside and the bunny one became the favorite. And was also called BahBah.
(pic from Feb 06)
Just yesterday Keaton and I headed over to Tyler & Zac's house for a little playdate. The boys are quite smitten with Buster. And he's beginning to be smitten with them. Keaton totally smiled huge at Ty. And then my heart melted out of my body and pooled at my feet.
Anyway- Tyler came out of his room with three BahBahs (apparently one was lost at one point and recovered shortly after his parents bought a replacement and a spare) He decided Keaton should have a BahBah and said K could borrow one of his. So stinkin' cute.
Keaton is a fan.
second: Nehng Nehng
"Nehng Nehng" is the one clear thing that you can make out when Keaton cries. Sometimes he does his "my insides have all turned against me" cry. Sometimes he does his "I am exhausted and just can't shut it down" cry. Sometimes he has a cry that starts with the lip and just gets so sad and he looks at you like you just seriously hurt his feelings and quite possibly broke his heart. And then there's hungry. It's so clear- "Nehng Nehng!" cried over and over. Generally followed by an almost tiny monster like "OWM!" as he latches.
and in lew of a pic of him nursing- as I'm quite liberal with feeding him in real life- my modesty went right out the window during his birth and has yet to return- still I'm not quite ready for my boobs to surf the interweb....soooooo. Here is a random couple of pics from this morning...
(I've fallen in love with the rounded edge. I blame Susan)
third: Herbert
Before we knew if babe was a boy or a girl- Ben and I came up with faux baby names to tell people when we didn't feel like telling them the real names we were in love with.
a girl? = Boniva
a boy? =Herbert
yes. Herbert Filbert.
hot.
so in tribute- we named the crazy cute stuffed elephant my friend Lauren gave babe at the baby shower - Herbert.
and - though I totally didn't plan on doing the "babe each month alongside stuffed animal" photo series...
Hello bandwagon- mind if I hop on??
Keaton at 2 mos.
and alone in the chair being ricockulously adorable:
and now- I am off to have a bowl of cereal and join my boys in bed for snoozings.
progress...
here we are.
between 8 weeks and 2 months.
(calendar math is weird...shouldn't 8 weeks BE 2 months? ...no?)
big things are happening.
as you can see above, the boy has found his hands.
Keaton, my sucky baby- now has a new love.
his fist.
delicious.
what you can't see in this pic...
and I have yet to capture on video-
is the talking.
it's incessant.
and awesome.
we have a chatterbox on our hands.
I could not be more stoked.
I apparently said my first word at 8 mos.
this boy might give me a run for my money.
Hannah says I can't count the fact that he occasionally says "hi" and claim his first word at 2 mos.
whatevs.
also- tiny man is filling out.
we had some feeding/eating issues early on-
things that involve talk of poop and boobs and probably wouldn't interest you unless you also have a tiny one at home...
so I'll skip all that.
point is- babe was pretty slim for a while there.
and obviously he is built like Ben- and will in no way rival his cousin Nora for thigh squeezability...
but there was a stretch where we were a little concerned.
but we now have evidence that he's getting enough.
there's the fact that he can pee through any of his cloth diapers in record time...
and the new cheeks, thighs and slight second chin...
and finally-
ask Grandma if Keaton would like a bottle...
(hahaha)
the answer is no thanks.
two times.
and when you can't verbally say "no" -
you slam it like a champ and then you vomit like you're on a sitcom and have a hose up your sleeve...
good times.
do they make baby rolaids?
I think he's better today.
exhibit A:
yesterday was rough.
the boy- who has never been a fan of any kind of gas (and who can blame him, frankly)
had a seriously bubble filled body yesterday.
like hours and hours of screaming and shaking.
to the point where we were wondering if it wasn't gas...
if maybe he was completely falling apart on the inside.
like maybe his bones were liquefying or something equally bizarre and horrifying.
we tried all the standards...
burping, walking, swaying, singing, shushing in his ear- which is normally a winner.
even massaged his belly, worked his legs bicycle styles, tried a warm bath...
finally we stripped him down to dipe and he laid on my chest and just crashed.
it was about the saddest thing I've ever seen.
I just kept thinking- let's stop making him do this.
as if we'd told him to fart and since he was really struggling with it we could just call it off.
nevermind.
no farties for you.
let's go back to being happy.
it was just such a helpless feeling.
And Hooper was crazy worried.
I think she was afraid we broke her baby.
She was by his side near constantly.
When I laid down with him, she was right there...
and even growled at Ben when he tried to get her to move.
Don't eff with Hooper when she's guarding her baby.
But he slept really well last night...poor guy was exhausted.
He burped and farted all through his dreams.
And things are looking up for today.
here's hoping.
I think the culprit was sugar-free ice cream.
That's the only thing I can think of that I've eaten each time before he has a bad tummy.
And with the faux sugars and their "excess consumption may have a laxative effect"
it's not surprising it might eff up his tiny tummy.
poor guy.
so- no more mass market sugar-free treats for Nisa.
crossing my fingers that's the answer.
in other news...
before the gas meltdown...
I saw the bear costume in Keaton's closet.
it was one of the things I bought before I was even pregnant.
Yeah- turns out an April baby doesn't really need a bear snow suit.
So, I put it on him really quick- just for a couple pics.
AND HE LOVED IT.
(quilt by the ever amazing Susan...sigh.)
winner winner chicken dinner!
Random.org says the winner is:
Congrats!! Email your address to: kitclub@mygreentangerines.com and they will send you your winnings!!
delicious.
thanks so much to everyone for stopping by!!
guess who scrapped?
can you stand it?
Green Tangerines has a brand new kit club! So rad! The amazing ladies asked if I would play along with a kit during their blog party. (They are having a huge blog party until July 1st- with lots of awesome scrappers rocking the kit and over $1000 in prizes! holy cats! scrap deliciousness...)
I was so stoked to HAVE to scrap.
Like- here- take the baby. I HAVE to do this. Cuz it's my job. To make something.
sigh.
who knew one could miss paper and glue so much?
Anyway- they sent me this amazing kit. All crazy bright and bold...and it HAD STARS + LEDGER. sigh. And fuzzy brads and thickers! delicious.
Being that my world is consumed with this new tiny man who is nearly attached to me- I was only able to squeak out one layout right now- but the kit is so loaded with goodies that once he decides to start napping outside of the cozy confines of my arms- I will surely be scrapping some more!
Here's what I came up with:
the photo at the top is from the front of Keaton's birth announcement. My apologies for ruining the surprise for those 3 people who's envelopes are sitting here on my desk- awaiting a proper current address.
ETA:perhaps it was obvious, but I should mention
Leave a comment (by 5 pm PST Sunday) and you could win a kit for yourself!! sweet!
wow.
so, yeah...my apologies to all who have commented and have perhaps been wondering why their comment hadn't appeared on my blog.
yeah... I had comment approval turned on apparently.
and didn't know it.
or know where to find said comments...
so I thought- well, maybe no one is reading... or no one cares...I guess I'll just keep writing for myself. and my mom. good times.
yeah, no.
there was a small slew of comments just waiting for me to say ok.
so, ok.
and thanks.
Babies are awesome! What a fun way to scrap your new son and to use your kit at the same time. I love the layout!